The Controller Saboteur

Have you ever found yourself micromanaging tasks, striving for perfection, or becoming frustrated when things don't go according to plan? If so, you might be battling the Controller Saboteur. This internal critic can limit your potential, strain relationships, and create unnecessary stress.

Understanding the Controller

The Controller is driven by a deep-seated need for control. It thrives on order, predictability, and a sense of mastery. While this might seem like a positive trait, the Controller can often lead to perfectionism, rigidity, and a reluctance to delegate.

Survival Origins of the Controller
The Controller’s need for power often stems from childhood experiences—whether it’s navigating a chaotic environment or facing betrayal and rejection. It’s a defense mechanism that arises to prevent vulnerability and regain a sense of control in an uncontrollable world.

Traits of the Controller
The Controller is all about energy, drive, and taking charge. It pushes people through confrontation, competition, and challenge. The Controller can come across as willful and intense, which can be misinterpreted as anger or criticism, creating tension with others.

Thoughts That Fuel the Controller

• "You’re either in control or you’re not."

• "If I work hard enough, I can control everything."

• "I’m doing everyone a favor by taking charge."

• "No one tells me what to do."

Lies the Controller Believes

• "Nothing gets done without my control."

• "Pushing people is necessary."

• "If I don’t control, I’ll be controlled."

• "I’m just trying to get the job done for everyone’s sake."

Overcoming the Controller’s Influence

Quiet the Controller

1. Recognize that if you’re feeling negative emotions for more than a second, you’re in Saboteur mode. Label those thoughts as Saboteur-driven and let them go. To do this effectively, familiarize yourself with the Controller and its lies. Take the Saboteur Assessment to begin this process.

2. Practice PQ Reps, which are 10-second hyper-focus exercises that help quiet the part of your brain where Saboteurs reside and activate the Sage region. Use PQ Reps whenever you notice the Controller at play, pausing to choose a more positive, productive response.

Minimizing the Controller's Grip

1. Set Realistic Goals: Let go of perfectionism. Focus on attainable goals and embrace “good enough” rather than chasing an impossible ideal.

2. Delegate and Trust: Hand over tasks to others, trust their abilities, and foster shared responsibility. Empower others instead of micromanaging.

3. Learn from Mistakes: See mistakes as stepping stones for growth. Adopt a mindset that values learning over flawlessness.

4. Welcome Feedback: Seek constructive feedback and different viewpoints. Embrace feedback as a tool for growth rather than a critique of your control.

5. Challenge Negative Talk: Replace harsh self-talk and criticism with compassion and affirmations. Question your beliefs around control, failure, and perfectionism.

Empower Yourself with Positive Intelligence

At Adoctorsjourney, we believe in the power of Positive Intelligence to help you overcome Saboteurs like the Controller. Our coaching program provides you with the tools and strategies to build mental resilience, develop self-awareness, and achieve your goals.

By understanding the Controller's influence and implementing these strategies, you can break free from its grip and live a more fulfilling life.

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